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Story #4 She looked up at the sky and tried to count the stars. She knew it was impossible, but she also knew that if she counted for long enough, she might run out of time. Sighing, she turned away from her window and walked into her bathroom. She studied her reflection in the mirror and saw her bloodshot eyes, the tear marks on her cheeks... and the track marks on her arms. He had always told her he loved her. That he would always be there. But he wasn't. He had died. She was all alone in a world where no one gave a shit. But heroin cared. It cared so much, that if you were away from it long enough, it screamed to have you back. It wanted you. It needed you. It made you think that everything would be okay. That everything was fine as long as it was in your life. She cried out in disgust and quickly moved away from the mirror. She turned on the water in the tub started a warm bath. She walked out into her kitchen and took the phone off the hook. She knew no one would be calling, but the idea of being completely alone when she did this appealed to her. She went over to a drawer and pulled it open. She took out an object and put it in her robe pocket. She walked back into the bathroom and shut off the water. She took out the knife from her robe and set it on the edge of the tub. After letting her robe fall down around her ankles she marvelled at the way the steam rose off the surface of the water. She stepped in and felt goosebumps rise on her back and arms. She lowered herself into the water and stared up at the ceiling. Her hand found the knife and brought it in front of her. She glanced at the sharp blade and she imagined what it would feel like sliding over the flesh of her wrists. Without knowing it, she hadn't only imagined, she had done. She was amazed. It hadn't even hurt. She switched the knife to her other hand, and again saw the blade move across her arm. She let the knife fall into the water, and she watched the blood flow out of her body and into the warm water. She lay her head back and closed her eyes. And imagined she was counting stars. |