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Number 231 - The Past wow. i am so bored. and i am having a lot of trouble typing today for some reason. i'm going to go back to school tonight. i don't know if i really want to though. i still have a little trouble with the whole sit down, stand up, lean over stuff and tonight is drafting and i am going to be doing a lot of that. but i need to go up there anyways to go to me advisory appointment. we'll see how i feel after it. i could always call steph and have her bring me home and throw some gas in her tank and shit. bah. ya know. dealing with people from your past is always a hard thing to do. i really wish people would just forget about the people from their past. it would make life easier. ok i think that was a little hypocritical because i can't let shit go. but wouldn't it be easier if everyone could? i mean, if you could forget all the boyfriends/girlfriends who totally fucked you over and only remember that they were an asshole, etc., wouldn't you want that? bah. but yeah. steph just said something to someone and it's a good piece of advice. stop thinking about the past and think about the future. nothing you can say or do will change the past. nothing. the only thing you can do is change yourself to make your future what you want it to be. stop worrying about what people from your past think. if someone thinks your a total scumbag, chances are, they will always think you are a scumbag. the only way they will not think that you are a scumbag is if they change how they look at things, etc. yeah apologizing to people might help, but it comes to a point where it's too fucking late for any apologies. the erson might accept it, but you know that their thoughts about you aren't really going to change. if you totally fucked with someone three years ago. and never talked to them during those three years and then suddenly you apologize and say you're saorry for everything that happened... what are you expecting to happen? the person to say "oh i accept you apology. let's be friends again?" the chances of that happeneing are super slim. peoiple hold grudges. they won't forget shit. that's why it might be good to forget about people. you'd forget about them, they'd forget about you, and you could totally skip the apology stage because you don't remember them and they don't remember you. ok this entry went somewhere i wasn't expecting it to. but that's life right? update later. |